The KNOWLEDGE
AN INTERVIEW WITH DEAN LEARNER

WHAT MUSIC INSPIRES YOU?

GARTH: Whatever the House band in Hades is jamming out. I’m mainly inspired by celestial visions. Though I do like James Galway if I’m doing admin.

DEAN: Light jazz. As long as it’s not too loud.

YOUR SCARIEST SONG?

DEAN: Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice. It’s genuinely chilling.

GARTH: I agree. How could someone do that to the riff from Under Pressure? I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Freddy Mercury died just one year after Ice Ice Baby was released.

 

NAME AN ALBUM THAT HAS A SPECIAL MEANING FOR YOU

GARTH: Highway to Hell by AC/DC. Whenever people claim that Australia is culturally dead I go tell them to listen to the ‘DC. Beating Around the Bush was the song that was playing when Pam and I first consummated our relationship. And, ironically, Caught With Your Pants Down from their Ballbreaker LP was the song that was playing in my jeep when I told my wife Pam of a brief indiscretion I’d had with a goth at a horror convention. And, yes, she did break my balls. Heh, heh, heh…

DEAN: To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before. I got drunk to that song when the Child Support Agency first tracked me down.

 

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE SONG?

GARTH: Pan’s Demonium (the title track from my prog-rock collaboration with Rik Bedford).

Dean: I love the track I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers. I’m especially fond of the lyric ‘When I’m working, yes I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man that’s working hard for you. And when the money comes in for the work I do, I’ll pass almost every penny on to you.’ I love that. Almost every penny. It’s both romantic and fiscally prudent. It’s a pre-nup in a couplet.

 

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE FLOORFILLER?

GARTH: I have no idea what that means. I presume it’s drug-related. I used to smoke pot and listen to Close to the Edge by Yes, but I now realise that life’s too short.

DEAN: I do like Yazz’s The Only Way is Up. Though I suppose it’s fair to say that didn’t turn out to be the case for her. Certainly charts-wise. Maybe she’s reached a higher plain in her personal life. I don’t feel able to judge.

 

WHAT’S YOUR GUILTY PLEASURE?

Dean: I think all pleasure should be guilt-free.

Garth: I sometimes write while listening to the sounds of slaughtered livestock. I feel the occasional twinge about that. But what’s on the page is always so vital I view it as being in the same category as scientists doing animal research. We’re both working to save Mankind.

 

WHAT MUSIC WOULD YOU HAVE PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?

GARTH: I don’t plan on dying. But if I do, either Bat Out of Hell by Meatloaf or the audio book of me reading Slicer IV: The Blade Is Back.

DEAN: I’m not sure what I’d have played at my funeral, but they played The Boys Are Back in Town by Thin Lizzy at my mother’s. She had a lot of suitors.